05/10 08:48

I worked a lot last few days, including 26 hours in a row starting Saturday 5 am finishing Sunday 7 am. We prapared decoration for big event, first wedding unniversary of very famous and rich people. I was there during this party, saw all this famous people. Not my world. Big money, alcohol, drugs, not natural feelings. I prefer my small room, small things, my beautest Juleczka...

In a while it will be six months without you. What keeps me in this world is to look at your photos, reminds memories and hope. Hope which will never go away. That you are like me. That for you love, real love can happen just once in a lifetime. That you will understand me a little. I so much miss your voice, your hands, your touch, your smile. Every hour when I dont work is a struggle, I think only about you. Today I have free day from work. In a while I will go to the Piaski to the places where we were together. I will close my eyes and imagine that we walk together hand by hand...

We sang " dobrze, ze jestes, dobrze, ze jestes, dobrze ze jestes. Jestes, jestes, jestes. Co by to bylo, gdyby Cie nie bylo. Co by to bylo, bylo, bylo, bylo...."

Now I know what it would be if you are not here. Unreal sadness, unreal pain, emptyness, whole, black hole.

When I have free days, I try to kill time watching tv, youtube. When you were here, I didnt do it. Very rarery we watched something. I dont count moovies watching together. Its easy to see what is important in life. Have someone who is everything for you. Then all world arround doesnt exist...

We started October, now six months which I dont like. When you were here, this sharing year for april-september and october-march didnt exist, because all months were like paradise... now all like deepest part of hell.

My father is very weak. God please give Him health. I admire Him how he struggles with all this sickness He has. I need Him. I need my Father...