Not existing reader - just to let you know.
I am still here. Not live, but exist.
Still with the same love and the same thoughts - everyday about her. From near 3 years. This will never change. Until my end, because any surprise cannot happen.
I am sorry, that I dont write. But I am literally mentally dead. First two years I still had a little hope. When this last percent dissappeared, I lost my head. Its dead. Live only with memories. With her. Only when I close eyes and see her next to me, I am able to go forward. Existing with closed eyes is very difficult, but its only one way.