Lukasz trying to deal with life

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30 of July 2020 19:00

We made an appointment at Dworzec Wilenski and went by the Wisla. I look at photos from that day. How happy we were. How happy I was. For the first time in my life. And Julunia. How beaty, how good.

And how I look today, how sad, how depressed, how pointless to live longer. When my happiness is far away. When my happiness dont want to contact me. When I even have no idea is She fine, She struggle as me, or she forgot and run a normal life, maybe with someone new next to Her.

I do what I can to survive from one day to another. Its crazy difficult. With Her next to me, without fears, lies, would be millions time easier.

I will never go by the Wisla again. Everything reminds me her.

Our messages and photo left me. And talking to Her. Hundreds time per day. Without answers.

One year ago at this time.... what a day, what an evening...

Julcia???

Taaaak?

Its very warm evening. Lets go for a walk. To our round in Piaski.

Yessssss.

Many many times I think about our meeting after this break. How it would look? What would happen?

I would just run towards her, hug and put ocean of tears, standing in hug.

I dream about this many times. I love her without end... 101 days whitout.

How much I miss our walking, lie on a bed, games in the evening, badminton now in summer time. Our every seconds together. I will give everything, to live poor till end of life, to bring it back.

I talk to her hundreds time daily and imagine, play her answers... How many people would say I am mad. But only this let me survive. Imagination that she is next to me.

Today is 100 day when I last time in my life was loved, was kissed, holded by hand, hugged.

100 days of sadness, worse and worse every day.

100 days when I love someone who hates me.

100 days of nonsense.

100 days of silence.

I will never stop love. Dont know how long I will live. Sure is that till last breathe I will think only about her...

Name day of my Mother. I prayed for Her a lot. Mum, I hope you are fine there. I dream about that.

Very difficult emotionally day. I try to avoid placedls where we used to go togethet with Julunia. Because when I am there alone I cannot stop tears. I waited till my shoes, which I bought together with Juleczka on Carrefour in March, are completely destroyed without possibility to walk anymore. And I had to go to the same Carrefour in our Bielany. When wr were together many times.

How many tears I cried when I was there today. I talked a lot to Julunia, last time you were with me, you advised me what to buy, today I am alone, with no support, like always. No responds. I looked for Her.. There was no Julcia... I went to place with our puzzle, cornflakes, ogorki...

Cazzo how difficult.

Sogni d`oro Julunia...

Lukasz trying to deal with life

Kalendarz

Strony

Archiwum

Archiwum lipiec 2021

30/07 19:00 one year ago by the Wisla...

29/07 21:20

29/07 18:18

28/07 21:56 100 days after

26/07 22:46 name day of my Mother

pn	wt	sr	cz	pt	so	nd
28	29	30	01	02	03	04
05	06	07	08	09	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30	31	01

pn	wt	sr	cz	pt	so	nd
28	29	30	01	02	03	04
05	06	07	08	09	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30	31	01

pn	wt	sr	cz	pt	so	nd
28	29	30	01	02	03	04
05	06	07	08	09	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30	31	01