Lukasz trying to deal with life

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What can I say dear Diary?

For sure its not normal that 38 years old man publish a notes in a online diary which noone ever seen.

Its crazy hard. From near two months not even this talks to my Father which were my only oxygen.

Now here in other country. Working nights. Cant sleep in days. Not friendly environment. I ordered here a bank card and it came because one guy said me that he saw it lying on the table. And when I went to collect, it was not there anymore. Disappeared. I wrote a notes in two languages: if anyone took it, please put it back, but no results... I was waiting for this card... Now will have to order one more time...

Physically bad, big big pain from this broken rib to backbone.

Mentally dead, no hearing from Juleczka, in a while it will be one year.

One and only relief is to close eyes and remind memories. I will do it now.

I have been observing world. People.

I cannot believe you were a Truth.

That it was not a dream.

Having you and then losing was the biggest upset anyone can imagine. No life after.

Thanks God I still can talk to you. Without answers.

Thinking about you. Dreaming.

Broke rib one day ago jumping from high wall to get inside one place I was supposed to deliver bakery. It pains a lot. For example I cannot turn myself on a bed from one side to the other when I lie.

Thats not a problem. Bigger is that stomach said: enough! From two days I have very serious gastro problem. I havent eaten but most of all havent drunk any hot drinks from two weeks. I am dreaming about hot tea here. Small but so serious dream.

Adding eating real rubbish food and not sleep you can easily see in which condition is my body...

Soul?... from near one year doesnt live, just exist...

Thats me on 25th of March 2022.

And so many kilometers from here, lie in one position among strangers, without conscious my beloved Father. Fighting to live... So much lessons for me.

Thank you, that at least you are here, dear Diary...

Hard.

Cant get used to sleep on a day time. With people arround me. So I barely sleep from one week.

Julcia never complained. Straight after coming back to Italy she started working night shift and gave back money which I was supposed to give to Her Buba. It took me one year to start doing the same.

Have a good evening Julunia...

My unreal strong Father left covid hospital with negative test and was transported to special medical care house. I hope they will take care of Him there.

What a fight to survive, what a mentallity. Everyone thought this is finish. He still is. Thank you Dad.

Fight more.

Here very hard. Very. I am not able to get used to sleep on the day. So its like two three hours sleeping mode per day. So body already a little destroyed. In addition to, difficult condition also: no kitchen, no washing mashine, no even kettle. So from more than one week I havent even drunk a tea. People comes here and come back to Poland because of this condition. Drivers who were before me: first worked one day, second one week.

But I will not give up. I will try to do my best. I have to.

Lukasz trying to deal with life

Kalendarz

Strony

Archiwum

Archiwum marzec 2022

30/03/22 18:02

26/03/22 18:07

25/03 17:30

24/03/22 18:59

23/03 21:24

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07	08	09	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30	31	01	02	03

pn	wt	sr	cz	pt	so	nd
28	01	02	03	04	05	06
07	08	09	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30	31	01	02	03

pn	wt	sr	cz	pt	so	nd
28	01	02	03	04	05	06
07	08	09	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30	31	01	02	03