| pn | wt | sr | cz | pt | so | nd |
| 30 | 31 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 |
| 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
| 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 01 | 02 | 03 |
Its 162 days I havent seen you, havent heard your voice, havent touched, kissed you.
Its 162 days of blackest whole anyone can imagine.
Worse day by day.
I cannot stand it anymore.
Julcia, my Sweetie, I cannot. My head I am sure will be destroyed very soon.
Noone cannot live without most part of himself. And you are bigger, better part of me.
162 days.
I am so bad now. Dont want to live anymore.
Last week I was 4 days out of Warsaw, working as decoration for wedding near Katowice.
I was among very nice people. We waked up very early, went for a breakfast for a dining room and then went for a luxury hotel to organize a rich wedding. We worked 12-14 hours per day and then came back to our smaller hotel. Every evening we spent time all together chilling out after work, drinking beers and talking. It was very nice time! Among my dark lonelyness and depression time I can share with other people, its very necessary, and helpful. Usually I make very shitty work, so this was something extra. Dont know when if ever, will be next possibility.
I hate that in this world there are these drugs, even this light like marihuana. I have never used it, I have never even kept in my hands. People after it are not themselves, this not naturally change of mood, I dont like it. Me and Juleczka never used it.
There were two very nice girls among us working there. They were nice for me, called me Lukaszunio, well its something not happens every day that people are so nice. And they were very good looking, young. If it happens before I met Julcia, maybe I would try to use it somehow, to make more close relation. But I am really not able. And I will never be. I love my one and only, who doesnt contact me at all. Who hates me. This is crazy and to be understand, not to be resolved.
There is not even one hour I dont think about her. In my free time, all the time. After coming back from this work, I went to Piaski as always, to close eyes and imagine us there. First thing in the morning, I do is to kiss cross and Julcia photo. Last - say sogni d`oro to her. Every day I wait. I will never stop dream. I will never stope hope. Its crazy difficult
Sunday morning. I am after 4 days of work out of Warsaw.
Today free. I have so many reflection after. I will write later. For now I am just crazy painfull. I so much miss our Sunday morning in a bed. Later we would go for a long walk by the Wisla in this beautiful weather. Oh My God, how difficult to survive this missing, when you love...
I kove you without end.
I am not able to love anyone else.
I think about you during day and night like now.
Julcia, you lost feeling towards so easily?
I love you Sweetie.
Sogni d`oro Julunia.
I meet people who last time I saw when I was with Juleczka.
I cross places when last time I was together with her.
I think about her everywhere, everytime.
I cannot stand this feeling!!! I cannot understand why its like this.
I dont want to live like this anymore.
Please, God, if You exist....
Sogni d`oro Julia.