10/05 3 weeks without, love more and more,...

20 days without sense of life, without my Baby. 3 weeks ago i saw Her last time, I kissed Her last time, i hugged Her last time, i loved and i have been loved last time...

Today I worked again in the place i used to work 4 weeks ago, last week with Julcia. Wherever I go, i have a feeling that last time I was there, I did it, I was so happy. I had my Happiness somewhere, who waited for me, who send me a message, i could check the phone if there is sth from Her. Now there is aim for anything. No aim to come from work? Where? To hostel? No point to look at the phone? For seeing no message from Her?

I told this man i worked for that my Love who i cannot imagine live without left me because of my bug fault. He keeps on saying that she mus have another man. Thats rule. And i exactly know that she has not. Things sometimes looks different than other people see. The question is does she really loved me?

Today i lost all possibilities to feel her somehow arround. She dissappeared from whatsapp. Number and even name. Polish and italian number. Dont know if She blocked me or She doesnt use any of this number any more. 1,5 years of marvelous history, of happiness dissapeared. I have no idea where She is, what does She do, how does She feel. I so care about Her.

Its so warm now, today 25 degrees. What a walk we would have being together. We would be so happy, it would be enough for both of us: sun and we holding our hands. Never will lose hope that this will come back.