13/10 00:08

Last night whole my dream was about Juleczka. I dream about her cery often, 4-5 times per week. That night whole dream was with my Sweetie.

We were so happy. I didnt swe my Beauty near already 6 months. But at least I see her so many times during nights.

Today I Has quite crazy days. Last few months I cooperate with two agencies which specializes in decoration of big weddings/parties. Sometimes I work for one of them, sometimes for second. Last week one guy of agency which I worked for last week told me that this week they have some work but its most official ust and he will let me know if they need me. I waited for message from him whole Monday and half of today, but he didnt write, so I thought that there is not work for them. So I contacted guy from second agency and he told me that he has work and he needs me from thursday till Sunday. They in the evening guy from last week agency wrote me that we start tomorrow. We go to the west part of Poland and we start there till saturday. I was so confused. I didnt know what to do, because I cant go to both places and they both need me. And I didnt want to make problem to any of them. I told the guy from last week, that I already dealed with the other one, but I will call him now and maybe he will find replace. And he founded. So I will go to the place from last week.

I am do stupid person. I much more preffer the second one, the guy who I dealed with as first today. Atmosphere there is much better, money a little better, I would not have to go so far away from Warsaw. But in my stupid mind there was something like: ok, I dealed with the guy last week, maybe I understood them not correct and I dont want to make them problem now, that they have to go 300 km away tomorrow morning and they dont have people to work because I dealed with other guy. So many people tell me: think about yourself, what is the best for you. And I never do that. Never! I always think more about others. Fuck me!

How being so well hearted person, I was ale to hurt my Beauty, my Love so much. How? How could you do that you idiot?