16/09 15:33

After season of my last work is finished I desperately look for work abroad. I sent many application today. Hopefully something will happen.

Days like now are completely depressing. I think about Julcia all the time. I dreamt about her last night, it was very nice dream, we made love, we loved.

Now I was watching photos. I really dont understand that I pay for being sick of weakness about my past that prize. We could manage this TOGETHER when truth was known. I cared so much always when She was not good, with her arm, always when She was not fine, I felt pain more than my own one. I never felt this feeling that I could jump to the fire only to rescue her.

And then after she found out that I was coward and didnt tell truth, I just heard the most cruel sentence in my life: we walked together for a while.

No. No. No. For me it was not walk for a while. For me you are everything. I cannot stop love you. I cannot forget about you. I cannot erase you and run normal life. Thats fucking me.... cazzzzzzzzzzzzzoo