17.07 saturday 07:38

Whole yesterday spent on looking for a work. I need money to live and to pay my debts. Noone replied, no support. Big pain in head after crying about Julunia. I so much need Her.

With Her, with support from their normai family we would go together to work somewhere abroad. I would work heavily just to have this behind. Like this now its not possible to live anymore.

Why I lied her, why I didnt tell her truth from beginning? Maybe she would have understood. Maybe she would have supported. And together passed this.

I am so scarry what will happen today. Heart pains during whole night. I dreamed about Julunia.

God....