02/07 17:17
God, how much I need to talk to you. To see you.
When I work I still think about you all time, but have also some duties amd have to focus also on other things.
These days, yesterday and today and maybe tomorrow, when someone cancelled my work and I have so much free time I am in 100 % depression. I cannot talk about my problems. There is no you next to me who can listen to these problems, I have noone to support me. Like these was all life after my mother dead, especially when I had to struggled with all these problems, but I was used to it. Then came you, I didnt tell you about main problem, but in the smaller, with work, with health, I could always rely on you, receive messages, hug you, see your smile coming home. I didnt need better medicine. And I used to it. Knowing that there can be someone like you, who think about me, who care about me, I cannot come back to previous times now.
Cazzo I so much miss you. I have so bad day. I would give everything to see you, to hear you.
I listen to our songs again. Cant stop thinking how are you. Are you like me or different - have fun, maybe already a new boyfriend: younger, better.
Body destroyed because of shitty food I eat now. No more salad, vegetables, fruits, hummus, falafel. Mind in the level under zero. No moovies, no fun, no you.
Its every day stronger and stronger. And you keep silence. To the rest of our life?
I still hear words from yesterday dream: Ja bardzo kocham Ciebie. Hoe beautiful. And this face.
Cazzo I cannot stand it any more. How much one person can survive.