06/07 cazzo how difficult
Today I changed the room in a hostel.
I am 37 years old man and this is my maybe 50th or even more bed which I am sleep on. But I am so tired of sleeping with strangers changing every day.
I received a single room for marvelous prize. And actually its 2 bed in, but whole room is only for me. For this prize its amazing. Only 10 zl more than for a bed in dormitory room. In last two months there were 2 guys from Belarus with me in that room, but they left: one few days ago, second one today in the morning. I used to talk to them, and we were together in the room for two months, so when they left, I decided that I have no power to stay in the room with new strangers. On the other hand now my lonelyness will just increased.
I am so worry about my father, my awful brother does everything to kill both of us and I can do anything. My father is so sick and he treats him just terrible. I have only father. Noone else to call when I am very sad which happens now every day.
Every minute think about Juleczka. How is She. Was it so easy for her to change life and come back to previous life? Have fun with friends, maybe also new boyfriend already? Or she suffers like me. I am sure I didnt deserve, even know what I did, for this which is happening now. To not have chance for talk.
I miss our activity together. Our shared duties, shopping, cleaning (mostly all She does), our fun: badminton, moovies, games, walking. I miss our food together, I miss all these salad. I miss when someone buys me chocolote, makeme sandwich for work and even more when I can make happiness for Her making Her salad or bringing her lunch...
I am not able to come back to normality. I will never stop dreaming about Her. Firstly of course I have to give Her back what I have to.
On the streets, because its very hot, I see hundreds of beautiful girls. But I cannot even imagine I can be with anyone else. I have just my Juleczka. I love her, I so much miss her, Itotally need her...