Yesterday, on Sunday, I decided to listen on youtube all music songs we always were listening together. For example "up where we belong" from the moovie. Cazzo. How many tears went down. Last time listened in our 56. Now alone. After one year of crazy missing.
I listened also a song by polish singer Michal Bajor. Very beautiful song "my biggest love", where he sings
"Moja miłość największa (my biggest love)
Nie wie nic, że jest moja (doesnt know that its mine)
Czas ją syci jak wino (time makes her better like with wine)
Wyobraźnia upiększa" (mind makes more beautiful)
This is my Juleczka. Its near one year. A lot of time. For many people its time to have another few love. To get married. For me: one day, one year, 15 years doesnt matter. She was and is my only love. And I will just run my lonely life with love who is far away.
Today I had a strange dream. Voice said to me: who will care when you die? Its the question which I many times think about. The answer is well know.
Today I started driving alone. Was easy day because not so many customers. But Tuesday are usually more busy. And I know that its impossible to deliver to all places on time. It stressed me a lot. I have very not calm head now. I finally found a stable job, but its also very stressing. There is no accident that drivers before me were here just for a while.
I will do my best. This I know. There is not so many people having this life experiences as me, so first problems will not beat me. I will try. I hope it will be enough.
Keeping in two pockets two biggest gifts all the time with me. In right one, rosary from my Father, in left castana from Julunia. I believe they help somehow.