| pn | wt | sr | cz | pt | so | nd |
| 28 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 |
| 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 |
| 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 01 | 02 | 03 |
Hard.
Cant get used to sleep on a day time. With people arround me. So I barely sleep from one week.
Julcia never complained. Straight after coming back to Italy she started working night shift and gave back money which I was supposed to give to Her Buba. It took me one year to start doing the same.
Have a good evening Julunia...
My unreal strong Father left covid hospital with negative test and was transported to special medical care house. I hope they will take care of Him there.
What a fight to survive, what a mentallity. Everyone thought this is finish. He still is. Thank you Dad.
Fight more.
Here very hard. Very. I am not able to get used to sleep on the day. So its like two three hours sleeping mode per day. So body already a little destroyed. In addition to, difficult condition also: no kitchen, no washing mashine, no even kettle. So from more than one week I havent even drunk a tea. People comes here and come back to Poland because of this condition. Drivers who were before me: first worked one day, second one week.
But I will not give up. I will try to do my best. I have to.
I am in Germany.
Started work this week as a night driver in bakery.
Its unreal difficult.
Last Sunday I was at my Father. No contact. He is suffering so much. Breath with difficulcy. No talk, he sometimes just says something very silently. No power. Lies on the bed from 6th of February when all of these started. Doesnt eat, just maybe one banana and small drink during whole day.
Its so hard to look at person who you love so much, and you can do nothing.
When I was last Sunday, I thought it cannot anymore than few hours when he will pass away.
But its another one week and my Father is still alive. I dont know in which condition. Because He is on covid hospital. He caught it... Now when He is in the weakest possible condition. No news from this hospital...
On last Tuesday Dad was taken by special car, to the medical care house. My brother was not able to take care of Him alone anymore, so decided to put Him in this special house. So they took Him and at the entrance made a test and found a covid... Then immediately He was taken to the covid hospital and now lies there. Where is no news from there. In condition he is, I thought its really end. But He struggles there from 5 days.
Unreal strong man, unreal fight spirit.
I just ask every time God to not let Him suffers. To not let Him be afraid.
And these circumstances I was forced to go the Germany. From days, weeks, months I struggled to survive every day. To find an occasional work, to have money for sleep and food. Sometimes I founded, sometimes not. I was sending a lot of applications and finally this Monday, they called me from agency. And gave a work in Germany. But I was forced to leave next day. I did it. On the day when my Dad was transporting to medical care centre and then after discovering covid to the covid hospital. I was travelling here with unreal scare that I will receive a phone call from my brother... I keep phone in pocket every time, hoping that this call will not happen... Knowing that He is suffering so much and maybe for Him would be better to not any more... Maybe He is struggling for me now....
I am here. Its very difficult. Mentally. And about being alone in new place. Difficult condition.
But I have to. To start living. To pay my debt towards J. Finally.
Probably last evening and last night while exist person who loves me.
When He dies, there will be anymore this feelings.
There was a priest with communion to my Father. He is completely not aware, not here.
Probably talks to my Mum with last pieces of His body alived.
Mum you missed my Father? You looked at Him and asked God to not let Him suffering anymore? There is a lot of things you have to talk about together. With Love. Only love in Heaven.
Full in tears. I dont know how my World will look after. I dont want it.
Dad, I so much love you. I will try to touch your warm hand one more time tomorrow. If you can, wait for me. If it means you will suffer, dont do it.
I love you. Thank you for everything, Dad.
Crazy miss my Baby. Thinking of Her whole day...
31 days since my Dad last time called me.
324 days since day when I talked to my Everything.
2502 days since last time I talked to my Mum.
Just pain and tears.