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Lukasz trying to deal with life

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Archiwum czerwiec 2021, strona 3

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08/06 23:41

I cannot believe how you treat me, who you made from me, sensitive man, who lost himself in fears.

I cannot believe every single minute how easy it came to you to break our relation.

 

But I will never, never stop loving you. And this is the worst. Because you hate me. You dont give me chance to contact you. You run your life, who knows, because I dont know nothing, maybe you already forgot about me and start new relation, after, as you said, I let you growed up. With someone younger, richer, better. In same time I am hear and cant stop think about my sweetie Princess. Every single minute from near 2 months. Love you Julunia.

08 czerwca 2021   Dodaj komentarz

07/06

Noone ever made me feel so piece of rubbish, who you can throw away like a plastic.

Worse than piece of shit.

I gave up, I dont fight anymore to struggle with my life. I am unreal unlucky to the people. After brother, came person who I love without end, who told me thousand times everyday how much love me and who treated me like useless nothing. All what happened was my fault, but behaving after is worse than worst possible scenario.

I gave up.

If anyone ever read this blog - I did what I could, I came to border of human ability to struggle. That was too much.

I am sorry for everything to the people I hurted. I am sorry for Giulia who never will read this.

I was able to give her whole myself. Didnt receive this chance. I am not able to overpass this treating knowing that I am not bad man.

I love you Giulia. Whenever death will come, it will come to Łukasz totally in loved in Giulia.

07 czerwca 2021   Dodaj komentarz

02/06 20:07

1060 hours when I last time seen Her at the stop of 33. 63 600 fucking painful minutes. Tears, screams, depression, asking why. Calling myself the worst words. Hating myself.

 

Zero smiles, zero happiness. Zero aims.

 

I dont understand many things. I dont understand a lot. I am retard. If its like this, i have no more strenght to fight.

02 czerwca 2021   Dodaj komentarz

02/06 12:04

I went toto work but finished very quickly. Cannot moove. Work especially two days ago made my legs unable to moove. And I am used to heavy work.

I can only imagine Julunia making me massage. What a relief....

 

I am so scarry about having so much free time. Whole day ahead and I am scarry. I lived whole my life alone and I could organize myself. But everything changed. Now I have no fun watching youtube, reading news. Absolutely nothing. I would give all to spend 10 minutes next to Her. Playing games, watching moovie or just being...

 

I talked to father. He is very weak. 

Tears in my eyes. It willbe very difficult day...

02 czerwca 2021   Dodaj komentarz

01/06 International Children`s Day

Good that I still have my father.

At least one person who cares.

 

My childhood thanks to Him was difficult. But He changed. I forgave everything. I love Him. I owe Him a lot. Now He is someone who I love.

 

Good please give Him strenght. Physical and emotional. He is so weak. He needs power, he needs hope. Also from me. And I am not able to give anything.

Thanks for my Father. I need Him.

 

Thanks for my Mother. She was for me everything.

 

01 czerwca 2021   Dodaj komentarz
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