06/03/24 17:07
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Że jest Ci tam dobrze.
Kocham Cię.
Do zobaczenia....
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Tato dziękuję za wszystko.
Mam nadzieję, że już nie cierpisz.
Że jest Ci tam dobrze.
Kocham Cię.
Do zobaczenia....
2nd and 3th March. Big dates in my memories.
I planned to write here a long stories about it. But I am not able. Not able anymore to write, to stand, to live.
All these 2 days in tears. So just to let you know dear diary:
2nd March - my Father's 70 birthday. Unreal weak, unreal suffering. But managed somehow to get to this date. Love you my Dad..
3rd March - 4th unniversary of day which began best moment of my life. Moment which lasted 14 months. When I was happy, when my life had sense. When I crazy loved and was loved. Juleczka came to Warsaw and started to share everything with me... My one and only life love. Love you my sweety till last day of this existing..
Not existing reader - just to let you know.
I am still here. Not live, but exist.
Still with the same love and the same thoughts - everyday about her. From near 3 years. This will never change. Until my end, because any surprise cannot happen.
I am sorry, that I dont write. But I am literally mentally dead. First two years I still had a little hope. When this last percent dissappeared, I lost my head. Its dead. Live only with memories. With her. Only when I close eyes and see her next to me, I am able to go forward. Existing with closed eyes is very difficult, but its only one way.
Cant believe I am still alive with destroyed mentally head and tears all time in eyes
In April 2021 I said to myself: day when I lose hope, will be my last day.
Its very near.
2,5 years. More.
Hours. Minutes.
Every single one in pain.
Not able to look further.
I am so thankfull that I had Her. It was so short. I was the happiest Man in a world for about 1 year and 4 months. But some people dont have even one day in their life which is so bright like period from December 2019 and April 2021 was in my life.
2,5 years ago life finished. Existing lasts. God knows till when.