| pn | wt | sr | cz | pt | so | nd |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 01 | 02 |
| 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 |
| 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 |
| 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 |
| 31 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 |
"We walked together for a while".
Among many, many bad words I heard in my life, this has the very first place.
You have a life plan, you are not able to live without one day, one hour, one minute. And then you hear these words. Nothing more painfull during whole, difficult life.
And being aware that all what happened is only my fault. I am so done
I went to talk with my Mum.
I said Her that since last time we met, Giulia still didnt give any signal.
Mum i miss you. I miss someone who loves me. It seems that you were the only One who really loved me whole yourself.
I went also to my Father. He is in big pain. Walk every day worse. I am so sorry about Him. About His pain. But He gves it all to God. I admire Him.
In general, I am every hour more done and more given up. Giulia will never contact me anymore. So many times said that She loved me...
She will never contact me anymore.
Its 3 weeks without message.
I am destroyed. I am dying crying.
She will never contact me anymore.
I so much love her.
She will never.
God. I dont want to live anymore.
Going to work.
Dreaming whole night about Julunia.
I am just a little scarry that finish is very close.
Blood running from nose. Blood pressure in head unreal high. Stress whole day.
I will never stop writing here. If anyone ever comes to this site what I doubt, please be aware that when my notes stoped from day to day it means that stress won over my body. That it was to much.
For now I am fighting. Do what I only can...
20 days since last time She messaged me.
At the beginning, She needs time. It was shock for Her. I expected at least trying to understand me. At least giving chance to being listened.
I am ready to talk every moment. I am checking post every hour. Still nothing.
My brain is very tired, unreal destroyed. We were not just a couple. We shared everything, every moment. She cutted it so stricktly. Its fucking not possible to live after that. I didnt know what is love. And now i dont if it was good to find out. It was marvelous time. But the time now is not to being descibed. I am literally dying. Without any aim of life. Without any way to go. She was for me everything and it went out without even chance to say something.
When my Mother died, i was full of pain. I lost Her, but i knew i can do nothing. Nothing in my hand. Now i lost my Baby, and its different. She doesnt give me any chance. How much she has to hate my. I really cannot understand it. I am begging whole my soul.
My body and soul are at the level beyond zero. There is no further life like this.