Lukasz trying to deal with life, wpisy, strona 4

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Level of missing reaches sky.

I am not able to focus about anything.

I miss you as nothing else before.

I miss your sweet voice, i miss you calling me Łukaszek, i miss our evening languages jokes.

I miss our songs singing together, i miss your marvelous polish.

I miss your touch, holding your hand, walking together hand by hand to the laslas, by the pond amd by the wisla. I miss climbing stairs with an engine. I miss our hugging each other during the day and night.

I miss to feel your skin, my skin miss your hands. I miss our marvelous love.

I miss your taking care of me. I miss to care about you.

I miss our breakfast, lunch, salad eating from one bowl. I miss our 5 min of lieing on a bed. I miss to watch any moovie, play our games.

I miss your smile, your fragility, your goodness, i miss you Julunia, i miss you so much.

My body and soul cannot live anymore without you. Cazzo cannot...

One month ago we ate our last pizza together. Half wegetarianska bez sera i bez cebuli i half hot habanas. What a time.

Last night i dreamed again only about Juleczka. Whole night. She was with me.

Today together we would enjoy new season. Without mask with restaurant outside. We would for sure go by the wisla.

Cant believe i have no contact and dont know how are you. How do you feel. Do you really cut it so easily and now run your life even without thinking about me. I am suffering. Every minute think about you. Love is not seected. Love is given. I love you uncomparable to anything else.

Listening to all our songs.

No power to write.

I so much love you.

I so much dont understand why you hate me without having listened to me.

I so much miss your voice.

I so much miss your smell.

I so much miss your touch.

I so much your love.

God, how difficult...

6 years....

I spent whole day in my town. I went to cmentery to talk with my Mum. I apologized that I visited Her so rarely. I told Her everything about Julunia. Apologized that I didnt introduce Julcia to Her. My Mum would love J. I took a sit there and told everything. I said also that Mum today is 6 years. I miss you so much, but I have to admit sth - now I miss more mya second woman. Mum for sure understood it.

I visited F. He is whole in pain and walk very barely. It was also a lot of time we havent seen each other. It was very good time to talk with Him today. About our problems. He will do all He can knowing that He cannot to much to help me. We drank a coffee, ate a biscuits, hugged, said that we love each other. Hope to see Him many many times in my life still. Pray for His health.

I walked a lot on my streets from childhood. Saw my house, my primary school, secondary school, visited few shops I used to make shopping, was on the big place near my house when I used to walk every day, today it was full in marvelous flowers. Also met my colleague neighbour who I spent a lot of time together playing football. Very nostalgic time. Missed only Julunia next to me, would love to show Her all of it.

How is She? Is Killian born? Is he healthy? So much question without answers...

Today arround 6 pm exactly 6 years ago last time i saw my Mother alive. I spent these days near whole in hospital, She was in very bad condidion, no contact at all. But i was next to Her, i hold Her hands, I saw Her suffering, but breathing. Being. She was transported to hospital 2 days ago even in worse shape, so I remember today I went to the doctor and said: it seems better, seems better. Doctor agreed, but She probably knew what is going to happen. When people are dying at last moment of life they usually recover for a while. The same was with my Mother. I never excpected thay today is the last day i see Her. Tomorrow in the morning I will receive a call... Mum, I love you so much.

Whole day again thinking about Julunia. Every minute. How is She. Maybe this comparision is too much but i see a small one with this situation with my Mother. I dont have a contact, but i know that She is. For now this has to be enough.

Two most important women in my life. And this will never change.

Love them both. Always.

Lukasz trying to deal with life

Kalendarz

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Archiwum

Archiwum maj 2021, strona 4

17/05 17:37

16/05 00:46 night without you

15/05 22:16 pain, miss, love

13/05 6 years...

12/05 19:20 Two women

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