| pn | wt | sr | cz | pt | so | nd |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 01 |
| 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 |
| 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 |
| 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
| 30 | 31 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 |
We watched together many films with Robert. Our favourite actor.
I am not able to watch any moovie alone. Last one was with Julunia in April.
Lied on a bed. Julunia next to me. Having hand on her. Without this watching anything has no sense.
You came to my world from nowhere.
Never expected this can happen to me.
After events happened in 2014-2015 I lost whole faith that my life can be happy anymore. I even didnt dream about girl like you.
I didnt know this feeling. I loved you, I love you and I will never stop. You let love you man who is not normal. I cannot stop, I cannot change direction and start love someone else. Even when you will not contact me next years, as long as I live I will be in same position. Of waiting for you.
Every day 50 times I check post, social media if you contacted me. I talk to you. You are in my every night dream. I say you always good morning and sogni d`oro. I keep your photo and look at you very often. I think only about you.
I know what I did. I took the most fragile girl in this world and I hurted you. So much that you did what you did. You didnt give us chance. Created your story without trying to understand. But you had right for this.
In this crazy situation you asked me to stop contact, you asked me for time. Thats the most difficult challenge in my not easy life. I will give you always what you want. And I will never stop dream about us...
I talked to my father today. He is in hospital and his voice was weak. God, please let him overpass this. I need him. I cannot lose everyone.
I write less.
I literally loose mental strenght to do anything. Even writing this diary is to much.
Last two weeks I worked a lot. Really a lot. That gave me money to pay my debt. That gave me possibility to meet other people and talk to them.
But that didnt decrease my depression. My lonelyness. My missing. My love...
I think about Her every free minute.
Last two days I worked in Lazienki. I was 100 metres away from place in Lazienki where we were two times. Our pond there. Far away from walking people. Both times we were there it was a winter time. Once when She came to Warsaw for three days in February 2020 and second time in last winter. We stopped there, by this pond, hugged and kissed a lot. On Saturday, I left my duties at work, I walked to exactly this place, I closed my eyes, and stand in this imagined that we are there together again. Kissing and hugging. Then after work I went towards palace on water, where we were last winted, looked at ducks swimming. I closed my eyes again, imagined her next to me, and despite of a lot of people there, I started talking to Juleczka. Then cried. A lot...
Yesterday, 15th of August. Last year, one of the best day in my life. We went to Zegrzynskie Lake. It was very hot day. We lied on a beach, and walked into the water, bottom part of us under the water. We kissed in water... What a fucking glorious day. Yesterday whole day I was thinking about this. I would give everything, I would do everything to spend again with Julunia one hour together.
I am so fragile man. I cannot stand this situation anymore. That she treats me like so bad man. That she is far away and I so much love her.
Now I dream about her near every night. 90 % of dreams are beautiful. This night I dreamt about our love, physical love. Juleczka is my dreamed girl about looking, about body. This is also very important. Not the most but still is. Of course I miss much more Her spirit, Her as a person.
Today no work, for the first time since many days. Cazzo, Julunia how are you. I so much miss you.
One yeat ago 15/08/2020 at 2 pm I was the most happy man in the world.
Julunia, bardzo Cię kocham...