| pn | wt | sr | cz | pt | so | nd |
| 31 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 |
| 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 |
| 28 | 29 | 30 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 |
1060 hours when I last time seen Her at the stop of 33. 63 600 fucking painful minutes. Tears, screams, depression, asking why. Calling myself the worst words. Hating myself.
Zero smiles, zero happiness. Zero aims.
I dont understand many things. I dont understand a lot. I am retard. If its like this, i have no more strenght to fight.
I went toto work but finished very quickly. Cannot moove. Work especially two days ago made my legs unable to moove. And I am used to heavy work.
I can only imagine Julunia making me massage. What a relief....
I am so scarry about having so much free time. Whole day ahead and I am scarry. I lived whole my life alone and I could organize myself. But everything changed. Now I have no fun watching youtube, reading news. Absolutely nothing. I would give all to spend 10 minutes next to Her. Playing games, watching moovie or just being...
I talked to father. He is very weak.
Tears in my eyes. It willbe very difficult day...
Good that I still have my father.
At least one person who cares.
My childhood thanks to Him was difficult. But He changed. I forgave everything. I love Him. I owe Him a lot. Now He is someone who I love.
Good please give Him strenght. Physical and emotional. He is so weak. He needs power, he needs hope. Also from me. And I am not able to give anything.
Thanks for my Father. I need Him.
Thanks for my Mother. She was for me everything.
Very very hard work these days. My muscles in higher part of legs pains as never before. I barely walks. Look very strange. Two months ago i would have received an unreal relief - massage in the evening. Made by sweet hands of Julunia. Today no relief at all.
And how to compare soul to this? It pains millions times more than muscles. And there is also no relief.
Cazzo how much person can survive. Where is a border...
To Lukasz 2020:
Never start lying
You have the reason or not
You think it will help
No, it wont
Lies never helps
For a while it seems yes
Later destroys everything
There is nothing like good lies
You will not recover later