Lukasz trying to deal with life, Najnowsze wpisy, wpisy, strona 65

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Najnowsze wpisy, strona 65

10th of May. If my Mother lives, She would reach 65 birthday today. Mother, my One and Only, if You are wherever - I love you so much, I miss you so much, I am sorry for all bad things, I thank for all your life, which you sacraficied for us, and i ask you - tell me somehow what to do, how to contact my Love.

I know that I made unreal mistake to let Julunia just go. As always i showed to much respect instead of I fight. She asked: dont force, I need time, give it to me, so fucking Lukaszek what does? Respect it, let Her go and let time run. In a while for everything can be to late. What normal person would do? Stop her, force to talk, dont let go. But I am always like this. More think about others than about me. Thats why I suffer near all my life.

I have no aim to go to work, to run my life when there will be no hope. For Her. Only for Her.

Love

I didnt know you.

I had you in whole colours since I met you.

I found out that there is nothing comparable to you on this world.

You give a power, you give a strentght, you are everything.

Losing you is losing myself.

After meeting you there is no life without you.

You are not selected.

You are given.

There is no others.

Just you.

One and only.

Love.

I dont understand anything. I knew completely other Julcia. She doesnt want to talk, she doesnt want to know whats truth.

I talk with many people. They didnt know Julcia so I dont believe them what they say about Her. I know Her as a marvelous person. Why she made me Her enemy. Did She loved me before or what was that?

I love her and always will. Always.

Today i worked again in this place next to Park Szczesliwicki where 4 weeks ago we had a picnic. As i said one of the best day in my life. We were happy, free, relaxed. We were TOGETHER. After work while I was waiting for the bus I went for a while to this park. I closed my eyes and reminded these moments with Her, imagined that She is there with me, hand by hand.

According to weather forecast tomorrow comes very warm days. Whole week should be like summer time. I am very scarried about this day. In normal circumstances we would go by the Wisla, by the pond or to one of parks. We would play badminton and have a unreal beautiful sunday.

I dont know what to do. Julunia doesnt want to talk to me, doesnt want to know me. She created false picture about me and for sure all of their friends and family support Her to stand as far as possible from me. Knowing sth about me which is not true. And what should I do in this situation? Should I go to Her, insist for a meeting and tell Her that She is wrong, show Her proofs. Or should I just keep Her words and be silent. But this enables Her to be wrong about me. Why She didnt even want to meet with me. I would go any possible moment to Her wherever. Until its not to late. I love Her like noone else ever.

Whole night dreamed about Juleczka. Waked up and looking her next to me. And again. And again.

Terrible sad. She doesnt even want to tell me if She is safe at home. She is scarried about me.... unreal.... 3 weeks ago i was loved like noone else in the world.

God, why you punish me so much. If I only have normal family, brother like 90 % of people have. Healthy father. Why noone wants to help me when i didnt do anything wrong besides lies to gain time. Why I dont have normal family, who should be my back in this circumstances. Why always biggest punishment? Why?

Tomorrow starts the real spring time. Today hotels are being reopen. One week ago galleries and museums. In one week time we dont have to wear mask outside what Julcia was looking for so long. We would be so happy. I will never understand why life wants from me only suffering. How to survive this saturday?

Julunia, I will love you forever, wherever you are.

Lukasz trying to deal with life

Kalendarz

Strony

Archiwum

Najnowsze wpisy, strona 65

10/05 07:38 Mother....

Love

Sunday 09/05 unreal sad

Saturday 08/05 23:36 love you my baby

Saturday 08/05 09:24 dreamed about Julunia...

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