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Lukasz trying to deal with life

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Najnowsze wpisy, strona 65

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11/05 22:07 miss you so much

Difficult, unreal difficult.

 

So hot day, how it would be when You are next to me, what a walk we would have this evening. To our pond or our round.

Now - no happy because of the weather, nothing makes me happy. Nothing.

 

How You changed my life? I stop watching stupid moovies on youtube, i cut watching sport, i stop watching tv series. All my free time I spent with You. Playing, watching normal moovies, having fun. Now when i come back to room i have no will to do anything.

 

All my thoughts are with you. Where are you, what you do, how do you feel, do you sometimes think about me or you cut it like this - leave him, its a past. I want to send you a pack but i dont even know if you are in San Mauro. All i dream is a message from you. That we can meet.

 

I watch our moovie, photos, I checked what we did one month ago. It was this day. One of the most marvelous in my life. It was real first day of the spring and we went to Park Szczesliwicki for a picnic. You made unreal good salad, we lied among the people. We had fun relaxing, we were everything for each other. You are still and you will always be. Everything for me...

11 maja 2021   Dodaj komentarz

11/05 where are you Julunia?

Where are you mt Baby?

I want to tell you good morning, I want to hug you, look at your smile. I dream nothing more about than hear your voice.

How do you feel? How do you manage? Why you dont even want to tell me this. I miss all your words. I miss everything from below and many others.

- Lato ze snu

- Łukaszek

- Ty jestes cudowny jak morze

- Ja bardzo kocham Ciebie

- how is it going there?

- chrząszcz

- Kwiecien swiecien poprzeplata troche zimy troche lata

- trocheczke

- czy lubi Pan urdu?

- Julcia? - taaak?

- ja bardzo lubie Twoje cialo

- what a nogi/szyja/cialo you have

- dlaczego pan nie działa

- ty jestes bardzo pyszny

- łukaszek..., what a man

- chrząszcz brzmi w szczecinie

- 5 min of lying?

- lets make the job done?

- sogni d`oro

- when you want to turn, turn

- moje słoneczko, mój kolibriczko

- ja teszzzzz

- mama Warsaw

- ty jestes bardzo siudy i mlody i przystojny

- sempre sempre semproramente

- did you meet winston?

- porka palettana, porka miseriacana

- łukaszek, ja jestem bardzo gruba

- cztery pory roku i poranna fitness

- chciałabym

- ty jestes slodki/ you are so sweet

- mamy wszystko

- Mia i Marko

- your mouth is like spring bird

- ty jestes bardzo madry

- Erni, Anna, Erninka

- i have a task for you

- ty jestes gupy

- chyby

- plis, działaj dla Łukaszka

- thank you for your work

 

Why you are so cruel for both of us. Its not you. We both didnt deserve it. I love you so much...

11 maja 2021   Dodaj komentarz

10/05 3 weeks without, love more and more,...

20 days without sense of life, without my Baby. 3 weeks ago i saw Her last time, I kissed Her last time, i hugged Her last time, i loved and i have been loved last time...

Today I worked again in the place i used to work 4 weeks ago, last week with Julcia. Wherever I go, i have a feeling that last time I was there, I did it, I was so happy. I had my Happiness somewhere, who waited for me, who send me a message, i could check the phone if there is sth from Her. Now there is aim for anything. No aim to come from work? Where? To hostel? No point to look at the phone? For seeing no message from Her?

I told this man i worked for that my Love who i cannot imagine live without left me because of my bug fault. He keeps on saying that she mus have another man. Thats rule. And i exactly know that she has not. Things sometimes looks different than other people see. The question is does she really loved me?

Today i lost all possibilities to feel her somehow arround. She dissappeared from whatsapp. Number and even name. Polish and italian number. Dont know if She blocked me or She doesnt use any of this number any more. 1,5 years of marvelous history, of happiness dissapeared. I have no idea where She is, what does She do, how does She feel. I so care about Her.

Its so warm now, today 25 degrees. What a walk we would have being together. We would be so happy, it would be enough for both of us: sun and we holding our hands. Never will lose hope that this will come back.

10 maja 2021   Dodaj komentarz

10/05 07:38 Mother....

10th of May. If my Mother lives, She would reach 65 birthday today. Mother, my One and Only, if You are wherever - I love you so much, I miss you so much, I am sorry for all bad things, I thank for all your life, which you sacraficied for us, and i ask you - tell me somehow what to do, how to contact my Love.

 

I know that I made unreal mistake to let Julunia just go. As always i showed to much respect instead of I fight. She asked: dont force, I need time, give it to me, so fucking Lukaszek what does? Respect it, let Her go and let time run. In a while for everything can be to late. What normal person would do? Stop her, force to talk, dont let go. But I am always like this. More think about others than about me. Thats why I suffer near all my life.

I have no aim to go to work, to run my life when there will be no hope. For Her. Only for Her.

10 maja 2021   Dodaj komentarz

Love

Love

 

I didnt know you.

I had you in whole colours since I met you.

I found out that there is nothing comparable to you on this world.

You give a power, you give a strentght, you are everything.

Losing you is losing myself.

After meeting you there is no life without you.

You are not selected.

You are given.

There is no others.

Just you.

One and only.

Love.

09 maja 2021   Dodaj komentarz
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