Lukasz trying to deal with life, Najnowsze wpisy, wpisy, strona 66

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Najnowsze wpisy, strona 66

I miss sleeping with you.

I miss to be awaken having you next to me.

I miss go for a walk, to the forest, to the pond only with you.

I miss walk hand by hand.

I miss make a shopping with you.

I miss dancing with you.

I miss your kiss.

I miss to touch you.

I miss to hug you.

I miss to make a jokes together.

I miss to make love.

I miss you smile.

I miss to cook and eat together.

I miss to sing with you our songs.

I miss talking to you about everything.

I miss receiving a small gifts like chocolates.

I miss your sweetness every momen during the day.

I miss showering with you.

I miss playing our games and chess in the evening.

I miss our badminton.

I miss climbing our drzewo.

I miss to watch a moovie with you.

I miss drinking a coffee, in the morning and afternoon.

I miss go by the river with you.

I miss you every minute. I cannot live without you.

I love you Julunia.

Yesterday I met a nun on a street. I decided to go to her and talk a little. I asked her if she can pray for me that evening. She said she will.

I came back to the room and i said to myself: tomorrow you have to call to Mr J, who I know from the other hostel. We spent a lot of time together and I felt that I need to talk to him. I always treat like my second father.

Today in the morning I went downstairs to make a coffee. And i met .... yes, Mr J. I hugged him saying, its unbelievable. Now i talked to him few hours.

Impossible doesnt exist. Everything is possible. Me and Juleczka is also possible.

Walking on the path and crying. Panic crying. 3 weeks ago I was the most happy man in the world. Now i am near die of sadness. Panic sadness. I try to read how to survive this situation, but all guides dont suit.

I will not find any other woman. I didnt find during 36 years. Then came she. More than my ideal. More. I couldnt expect this kind of woman exist and if yes, for sure are not meant for me.

- my ideal about look, siuda, beautiful face, marvelous smile

- very fragile and delicate,

- trustful

- didnt want to much from life, didnt expect from me beeing rich, all She needed was me as I was

- didnt have any man before like me didnt have any woman

- shared with me passion: walks, playing badminton, watching moovie, playing games

- positive, happy about very small things like sun, moon on the heaven, colour of the forest, bird birding,

- no alcohol, drugs, parties

- very calm and quiet

I can keep on saying how lovely She is. How unreal lucky was I to have Her next to me. How could I even think about any other woman. I would compare everyone to Her and hurt them because noone can be even 10 % like my Juleczka. She is my real one and only second hald, who I found. And lost.

This lost is not to be fixed. All i can do is fixed what i did wrong. And hope. Till the end of my life. That I can rebuild trust. Even if now She says many times that She is not able to be with me. Now not.

Even if I have less than 1 percent of chance I will believe. Nothing else left me.

It happened.

Julcia yesterday sent me a messages, once again saying goodbye and that there is no hope for us.

I didnt sleep. I canceled my work for today.

I will keep on dreaming. I would like to do sth else. But what can i do. I love Her and its not possible just to leave it. Not possible at all...

How to call someone who had someone dreamed about whole life, more than dreamed, unreal, better than anyone can imagine, who loved you one hundred percent, who you hurt so much, that this dream finished without even talk?

How someone like me can still breath, walk, wake up, work, eat, try to sleep?

There is not even one minute in whole day without thinking about Julunia. Where is, what does, and most important how She deal with this. I cannot believe that for Her is easy, She also had many plans and now everything is destroyed. How She deal with it.

I think about Her working, coming back to the room i dont think about googling, watching sport, youtube. Absolutely nothing has sense and never will.

Julunia, moje Kochanie, you dont know it, you dont care about it, but I love you and to the rest of my days, I will...

Lukasz trying to deal with life

Kalendarz

Strony

Archiwum

Najnowsze wpisy, strona 66

07/05 I miss you

06/05 impossible doesnt exist

Wednesday 05/05 17:32 unreal difficult to...

Tuesday 05/05 08:46 hope will never die

Monday 04/05 my mind is worse and worse

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26	27	28	29	30	01	02
03	04	05	06	07	08	09
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	29	30
31	01	02	03	04	05	06

pn	wt	sr	cz	pt	so	nd
26	27	28	29	30	01	02
03	04	05	06	07	08	09
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
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31	01	02	03	04	05	06

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31	01	02	03	04	05	06